Friday, July 30, 2010

Bun in the oven…

I saw an online discussion on slang terms for being pregnant – things like preggerz, with child, on stork watch, in the family way, knocked up, preggolicious… Well, I am all that.

Yes, it’s official, we are expecting. And we are thrilled! Just had an ultrasound to stage the pregnancy today and our due date is March 15, which means I am about 8 wks pregnant. I am not sure I believe that though because I feel and look way more pregnant than that. I guess I got chunky preemptively, you know, in anticipation of the pregnancy.

We are also apparently going to be geriatric parents. My new OBGYN, who looked way too young to be a doctor, pointed that out to me. My age was a definite risk factor, she said and proceeded to inform me about the increased risk for all kinds of serious problems for the baby if the mother is over 35. I’m 38. I was already aware of the risks and was stressing out about them. Of course, it’s her job to share that information with me but I was hoping for something a little more reassuring along the lines of “Congratulations!” Yeah, didn’t happen…

We have been trying to get pregnant, on and off, for several years now. We didn’t plan to take this long but life can be unpredictable. We had to wait out several periods when one of us was laid off and the insurance situation was less than optimal. Then, of course, there’s the fact that getting pregnant in your thirties is not as automatic as they want you to believe when you are 16. Either that or we should have been trying in the back seat of our car… Anyway, it took us a while and here we are pregnant at an age when some people may be getting close to becoming grandparents. Oh, well…

Be that as it may, we are all thrilled about being pregnant. Nia has been asking for a sibling ever since she learned that we sorta held the key to that particular puzzle. She seems to change her mind about wanting a brother or a sister. Lately, she’s been saying she wants a baby brother, so she can see his pee-pee – can you think of a better reason? My mom has been pleading and cajoling for another grandchild for years as well. She’s beyond happy. We told my dad via Skype yesterday and he cried tears of joy. We also called Paul’s parents and the news totally made their day.

Being happy and excited is part of it. The rest, of course, is being nervous and worrying. With every milestone, I think, “Once I get there, I will be able to relax.” But the truth is, you can never relax because as soon as one milestone passes, there’s another one to worry about. I want to make sure that everything is OK with the baby and all those genetic tests that they say you should take, especially if you are over 35, are making me very nervous. I am particularly scared of the two invasive ones, the Chorionic Villi Sampling and the amniocentesis because while they do tell you whether your child has genetic problems, they carry an uncomfortably high (to me) risk of losing the baby. We discussed those tests when I was pregnant with our first child but opted not to do any of them and were lucky to have a healthy baby. Things are different now though as I am over 35 and the stakes are higher. What has your experience with these been?


  1. Congratulations! I don't have any personal experience myself, but my sister just had a healthy baby girl a few months ago at age 34. And my mom gave birth to my little sister when she was 35.

  2. Wowwy wow wow!!!! Congrats!!

    I'm thrilled for you. She or he is going to have a great older sister.

    The doctors will keep close tabs on you. I can only say go with what feels right for you, regarding the tests.

    I'm so happy you you and your family

  3. Congrats!!!

    However, I refuse to refer to you as "preggers." I have no idea why, but that "word" drives me nuts. =) It's right up there with "hubby" and "panties" in the list of words that send shivers down my spine. Again, no rational explanation...

  4. Congrats congrats congrats!! And from one AMA mom to another (that's advanced maternal age if you hadn't already heard that from your OB)... you'll be JUST fine. Do whatever testing you need to do to make yourself comfy - and then don't fret one single minute!

    It took me awhile to get prego too after my 2nd. So best of luck to you as you begin this new journey!

  5. Congratulations! I had CVS with two of mine, and wish I had it for the middle child (complicated medical history and would have saved us maybe a year misdiagnoses after she was born). However, every situation is different and that being said, it's really up to you.

    Do whatever makes you feel comfortable and much happiness to all of you!

    Oh, and I had my third when I was was by far the easiest, healthiest and happiest pregnancy of the three!

  6. Many congratulations! How wonderful. I hope the pregnancy is easy and worry-free. You will make each decision as they arise, so try not to fret about them yet.

  7. Ditka, only you can decide what is right for you. The question Tim and I asked ourselves when we were pregnant with Isobel was, will the test results change anything. For us the answer was no. So we opted not to take any tests. And if we do have another, we would probably do it the same way. You are healthy, smart and make great choices. The stress you are feeling now is probably the worst thing you are doing for your baby. Relax and enjoy the experience. :)
    Sending love and positive energy.

  8. Congratulations and I agree have whatever testing you need to have done to feel comfortable. I was over 35 when I had my youngest and after the quad screen came back normal I had a long talk with my OB and decided not to have the amnio. I did have an amnio with an earlier pregnancy, and while I found it scary all went well and I was glad to have the results so I didn't spend the rest of the pregnancy worrying.

  9. Thank you everyone for your comments and emails! I still find it hard to relax but it is comforting to know that so many of you wonderful ladies have had healthy babies after 35 and that some of you have even braved the amnio without complications. That's encouraging!

  10. Oh the AMA lecture. :(. You're ONLY 38. Focus on the ONLY and not on the BUT you're 38. My aunt has two boys - delivered when she was 38 and 39. And my friend Anna has two babies - delivered at 39 and 40. Totally uncomplicated and average. Based on my examples, it's more like ... be careful after this delivery. You never know what might happen ...

  11. Daniela - congratulations! I delivered my baby at 36 (I am 37 now), I had amnio...I would be happy to share my experience. If you'd like, e-mail me offline at (I also work at State - we could meet for a coffee at HST).
    Your blog is delightful.


    PS - the Name/URL link somehow doesn't work, so I had to select Anonymous

  12. Congratulations!!! What an adventure. Don't worry, everything will be fine. Excited to see where you'll be posted next, boy/girl, etc.!

  13. OK, I tried twice to post this on different days and is not showing up :(. So, again--CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
    When so we get together, anyway?? The husbands should try their Bulgarian on each other!


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